Monday, July 2, 2012

When both wives are sick

Boy oh boy have we had an interesting week here a couple of weeks ago.  On Monday Randy came down with a bug of some sort.  First time he's thrown up in 18 years.  By Tuesday night I had it.  Annie being the loving awesome wife that she is stayed up with me every time I got up to throw up.  She was there with more puke bags (I don't do cans or toilets) and fresh water and wash cloths.  Finally around 5am I knew I need to seek help.  I was throwing up so hard I couldn't catch my breath.  Randy got up to take me.  Poor Annie had been up all night with me, really needed sleep and I was pushing the bounds of her vomit meter.  That's certainly a benefit of more than one partner, lol.  I ended up being admitted into the hospital because I was so dehydrated my heart rate was in the 130s and the ER doctor didn't feel comfortable releasing me.  Then as we are somewhat getting me settled into a room Annie starts to get sick.

I felt so bad for her, I wasn't there, Randy wasn't there.  We were relying on our son to help her and he did of course.  That night once I got settled Randy went home and took care of Annie for a little while, then he showered and brought me back some things that I needed and stayed with me for a bit.  Then he went back to take care of Annie.  Luckily the hospital is pretty close to the house.

I admire him for being so thoughtful to both of us.  What do you do when both wives are sick and one is in the hospital?  Well, you do the best you can.  His selflessness reminds me every day why I love him so much.  Her selflessness in telling Randy to care for me is just one of the reasons I love her so much.

The bug went through everyone in the house with our son being the last to get it.  Hopefully that won't happen again any time soon.  It took five bags of IV fluids to make it so things were normal enough to be released.  Dehydration is definitely a problem I have.

Fast forward a couple of weeks we are all feeling better now, life is good, and I'm a grateful girl.


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I'm not sleeping well.

Every morning I wake up and am pretty much ready to go right back to bed.  More days than not I find I have to force myself to get up and get moving.  Today at my pain management doctor recommended and then ordered a sleep study.  *Sigh*  She went on to explain that good sleep helps with pain, Fibromyalgia,,, depression, and a list of other things.  A CPAP machine has also been shown to greatly reduce your risk of cancer.   I guess I'm not getting out it.  Both Anne and Randy have CPAP machines and they both rave about how much it has helped their sleep.  I however get a little freaked out about the thought of wearing a mask on my face every night.

Then of course, not just that, but I have to spend a night away to have the study done.  A small part of me says "Oh, how nice, a bed to myself", but the rest of me dreads the emotional angst that I'm feeling about me being alone for a night and Anne and Randy having some real time alone together.  Not to mention they will expect me to go to bed at 10pm.  REALLY????  10pm.  You've got to be kidding me.  I ask myself what is the worse that can happen??  They might have sex...okay, no big deal.  They might cuddle together....okay, no big deal.  They might talk to each other....Okay....can you see where I'm going here.  There is nothing they can do that is really a bid deal.  I love them, I want them to be happy in their own relationship with each other.  That includes cuddling, talking and having sex.  Right?  I struggle to understand why I have trouble with it.  I want to be like "please, have a great evening together and enjoy each other's company", but in reality I'm not quite able to say it.  Well, I can say it, it just doesn't sound quite how I want it too.  

I think in some ways I struggle with feeling like personal attention between Randy and I is strained and limited over my fear of how Anne will handle it.  In the past there have been a lot of times where it has not been handled well.  There has been some pretty noticeable improvement in this area, yet my fear seems to have not caught up with that.  I think I've gotten to a point where I'm gun shy about showing him too much affection.  I do feel like I'm able to show her affection without censoring how much or what kind in front of Randy.  He has just always handled things like this better.  

At the end of the day, we are all a work in progress here.  I, and to some degree Anne, come with some pretty heavy past baggage that at times weighs in on our current relationship, but it's okay.  We work though it together.  I still wouldn't trade the combined love I have with the both of them.  I feel like I get things from both of them that I wouldn't get from any one person.  The combined things make the struggles we do have worth it.  Plus they love me for me and well, that's just awesome!  <3






Friday, May 18, 2012

Sister wives blog

I've been really bad about blogging lately and for that I apologize.  I've been enjoying life to the best of given ability and spending time with my peeps.  Our life is going pretty smoothly these days.

Earlier today I was poking around the web and came across a Sister Wives blog.  From what I can tell at quick glance it's a site for people who wish to bash the Brown's.  Now I have no real comment in support of the Brown's, but I don't feel the need to bash them either.

I'm consistently blown away by how ignorant some people can be.  How we don't care about the divorce rate in our country but we do care about what other consenting adults want to do.

Anywho, I thought I'd share the blog in case anyone was interested.

http://sisterwivesblog.blogspot.com/2012/05/hln-dr-drew-3-wives-24-children-we-all.html#comment-form

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Marriage

I wonder if you can be in a poly-fidelitous and not support gay marriage.  I think the very thought behind accepting gay marriage is that all people should have equal rights.  Well wouldn't all people include people in a poly-fidelitous relationship?  For that matter, wouldn't it include any grouping of people of people who wishes to commit themselves to each other "til death do us part."  

I think I should state here, I actually take marriage very seriously.  I think when you stand in front of your friends and family and make a commitment of "til death do us part" you should honor it.  I'm frankly kinda disgusted by people who marry then divorce, marry then divorce and then yet again marry and divorce.  THEN for those people to have the audacity to look down upon a man who says "I love both of my wives and will care for them."  


Well now, we shouldn't put this all on the man, let me say I love both of my spouses and will commit myself and my life to them "to love to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."  

A friend of mine is going through a pretty rough time right now.  His wife shortly after delivering their twins moved out.  Postpartum depression can be a real bitch sometimes.  A couple of weeks ago (my dates may not be exactly spot on) she delivered another baby by another man.  (She had been out of the house for more than a year give or take)  I adore this friend, I adore his family, I would love to hear stories about how wonderful and grand life is, but sometimes that just doesn't always happen.  Now a lot of people are telling him to end it.  To get a divorce.  He's just not there.  I get why they are saying that, but I think that when you make a commitment you should honor it.  Right? 


That's suppose to be a security that marriage gives you.  Otherwise it is just like dating.  Why even bothered to get married.  At least change your vows to say "until I feel like it is too hard and I want to walk away."  Let's be honest. Let's take a look at Rush Limbaugh.  On his 4th marriage, the longest lasting 10 years.  Why should he get to be married four times but I can't marry once?  I know a former co-worker who has been married three times yet she looks down upon me for my choices.  REALLY?  Well who the fuck is she?!


Good things in life tend never to be very easy to achieve.  I'm working hard for my marriage (yep that's what I called it).  I'm working hard to do the inter-personal work I need to do to be a good partner, to make it last, to learn that when I'm told I'm loved they really mean it.  Not only do they really mean it, but they also believe in forever.  


I just wish I'd have a chance to have that legally documented.  

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Sisterwives site, now Polyliving.net

From some this is old news, but not for others.  The sisterwives site that use to be hosted on Yuku can now be found at polyliving.net.  I like the forums much more now.  Plus you can easily sort unread messages!  Be sure to check it out!!

Many Blessings.

Jenne

Monday, March 19, 2012

Homesteading

One of the goals that we have as a family is to ultimately be able to buy land in the country and build a monolithic dome.  Here is a link to monolithic.com in case you want to know more.  They are *so* incredibly energy efficient AND the dome has the ability to stay cooler longer if we lose power.  Living in hot hot Arizona that's a big sell for me.

Anywho....   with this process comes my huge desire to be as self sufficient as possible.  I am a container gardener now (am not able to physically plant in the ground) and hope to expand that as much as possible.

I found a fantastic website that I'm really enjoying.  It's call Common Sense Homesteading.  I'm curious to know if anyone else is homesteading or trying to be more self sufficient?  Any tips, tricks, or goodies you wish to share?

I know this blog is suppose to be about things poly, but I feel this pertains.  As three we have to be extra careful to support ourselves and I think this helps.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

A closet built for three.


Recently we went to a home show.  You know those kind of shows held in a football stadium, packed with all sorts of goodies to see, think and dream about?  Oh if we only had an endless budget....   Anywho, we went with some specific things in mind.

Recently I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Annie has had Fibromyalgia for years.  (Not really fair to Randy, I say.)  With that said, it's really important for us to be able to move our bodies.  The downside is, moving our bodies hurts.  A heavy day of gardening or shopping or housework and we are both down for two days after. (Sadly, there's even times when doing nothing at all still has one or both of us down for the count.) Not so with swimming though. We can both swim (move our bodies) and not be in agony afterwards.  We live in the greater Phoenix area of Arizona so we get pretty good pool use from mid May until October, but we are looking to make it so we can swim year round for maximum benefit.

The other thing we wanted to accomplish by going to the home show was expanding our closet. I'm sure you can imagine three people in one bedroom sharing one closet. (Not to mention, the house was built in 1960, way before the era of the grandiose walk-in closet of some modern master suites.) Neither Anne or I are clothing freaks, but still Randy gets the short end of the stick.  At the moment we are spread out between closets in three rooms.  Comments like "What closet is that in?" are very common when going some place that requires above casual dressing.

While we were there (at the home show) we saw *so* many things that we could do with the house, it was almost overwhelming. We grabbed pamphlets and submitted our name and number for more quotes than I can count.  We came home from the show exhausted, but excited.

Since then we have had a couple of people over to look at the space and give us quotes.  Last night a guy - who seemed great by the way - thought we were joking with him at first.  The conversation went like this:

"Hi, my name is Jennifer. Come on in."
"Thank you," Contractor says.
"This is my wife Anne, our husband will be out shortly," I say.
"Wait, are you joking?  What did you just say?" says the Contractor.
"No, we're not joking and you did hear it right," Annie says.

Our husband enters. We get down to business and start talking and going over plans and ideas and somewhere in the middle of it the contractor kinda pauses and says, "You know, in my forty three years, I've never been introduced to people like you. Are you LDS?  My son is dating an LDS girl. We've seen a couple episodes of that show, Sisterwives."

My wife and I quickly chime in that we are not LDS. We are wives and have a romantic relationship with each other as well as our husband.  We all kind of chuckle and he says, "Well I guess man, that must be great."

Here is where you could totally see him wanting to high five Randy for "scoring" two chics in bed every night.  Randy does a good job of explaining it's not all threesomes and sex, in a few short words. No details, just "it takes work like any other relationship."

I chimed in with, "You're not in your bedroom one hundred percent of the time, right?" There was a moment of disappointment as his illusions were shattered, but it seemed he thought that was true.

 As he was leaving he says,  "Do you mind if I get a picture?  My friends are just never going to believe this!"

We have more people coming for quotes. In the end I'm quite sure our closet for three will be great.  Until then though I guess we will continue to shock and awe.  Who knew we were that great?!  lol

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

I'm not normal...and that's okay.

I'm not normal.  I am not sure I have ever been normal.  What even defines normal?

I do know this, my relationship is not normal.  I've become more confident lately in my relationship.  I will without hesitation say, "My wife and our husband" to someone.  It is interesting to see some people's response.  I *love* it when there isn't a response.  You see, as non normal as we may seem, we are actually pretty normal.

We have jobs and hobbies, we cook and clean, we go grocery shopping and to doctor's appointments.  We love each other, we have a bond with each other far beyond a sexual bond.  We have issues like everyone else and work on those too.

This is the polyamorous voice I want to give.  I am happy and respect the Brown's and the Darger's.  However it is not my faith that lead me to my plural marriage.  It is love.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Stop Online Privacy Act! #sopastrike

From Wikipedia:

Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge
For more than a decade, we have spent millions of hours building the largest encyclopedia in human history. Right now, the U.S. Congress is considering legislation that could fatally damage the free and open Internet.

How would SOPA affect you?  Click here for an article FAQ from CNET.
Learn more from Wikipedia (even on 1/18):  Learn more!

What can I do? Write to your Senator (barely takes a minute)

The government is already involved in so many aspects our lives from our bedrooms to our wallets.  We as Americans need to stand up and speak out for what we believe in!

#thisismestandingup