Friday, March 25, 2011

A wedding turned sad.

Friends of A. and R. are getting married soon.  A. is actually officiating the wedding.  I've met these friends a couple of times and they seem relatively nice.  

I am not invited to the rehearsal dinner.  The bride does not wish to answer questions about our relationship.  I was invited to the wedding.  Would she not be answering questions there?  So now the question has been asked if I am invited to the wedding and reception as well.  

My partners are so very loving.  R.'s response, which pretty much echoes A.'s was:  "Anywhere Jenne is not welcome means *automatically* I am not welcome either.  I will not have Jenne treated as a second class citizen by my friends, furthermore, if my friends think they can exclude Jenne and remain my friends, fuck them too."

I feel torn.  I don't want my partners to pick me or there friends, but I'm slowly beginning to understand why so many poly couples ultimately have a few social friends.  I'm a little hurt.  Certainly not at anything my partner's have done, if anything I feel as though they have defended their love for me.  I'm hurt that though initially this couple getting married seemed to be in acceptance of our relationship, in the end they really may not be, and they couldn't be honest about it.  

1 comment:

  1. Rehearsal dinners (a tradition we don't actually have in the UK) are a little more intimate than the wedding so she probably feels people won't notice as much on the 'big day'.

    As shocking as it is, I think your partners made the right decision not to go to the dinner, instead attend the wedding itself as a family. The Bride will soon realise what she lost in her stance wasn't worth what she gained.