Monday, January 10, 2011

Lessons you learn

The title really should probably say, "Lessons you learn, Part 1 of a billion" .....

I've hurt my back.  Lesson # 1 - Do not try to extend leg up to soap caddy to have a spot to place foot in order to shave leg while in shower.  Lesson # 2 - When yours partner tell you slow down or you are going to further hurt yourself, listen to them.  They are right.  I spent the entire day yesterday drugged up and in bed and pretty darn miserable.

She had been longing for some physical connection.  Ideally from both of us, but at least from one of us.  I would have liked to been able to participate (so I'm hoping you can imagine just how much pain I was in) but I was simply not able to.  We are all laying in bed and I start to hear the start of some fooling around.  It felt "weird" (for a complete lack of a better word) for me to just lay there while they did there thing.  So I explained my position, explained I understood hers, that I wanted her needs to be met, and that I would go lay down on the couch.  Just to be clear - this was all somewhat against her and his wishes, but I knew she wanted to play.

I'm laying on the couch and I begin to hear the play....   boy did I start to get jealous.  I'd love to say I handled it all cool like, but the reality is, I didn't. So far we've mainly played together.  If we weren't playing together then it's because one of us wasn't even in the house....   or really - in the state.  Surely I can't make a stink or say anything about this, because I wanted them to continue even though they offered to stop and wait.    I didn't want them to stop because I love them and though part of me felt very jealous, part of me was happy she was getting what she needed.  Ultimately I went to my desk, put headphones on and listened to music.  When they were done he came out to get me and we snuggled back up again.

I'd like to get to a point where I'm not feeling jealously at all.  Especially when it was a decision and choice I've made.  Admittedly, I have no idea how to do this.  Time and communication are a good place to start though.

No comments:

Post a Comment